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♫ ♪ OH WHEN THE SPURS GO THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS … ♪ ♫
Had the legendary John White, then a young man doing his national service, made it from his barracks to Burnley in time for a First Division match towards the business end of the 1959-60 season, Tottenham Hotspur may not have lost 2-0, and may well have won the league instead of the Clarets. In 1961-62, they lost home and away to newly promoted Ipswich Town; had the results been reversed, that would have been their title too. In 1962-63 they rattled in 111 goals, but still somehow managed to finish second. And in 1963-64 they were top at the beginning of March; by the end of the season they were fourth, having just been whacked 7-2 by Burnley. Ah 7-2. We’ll come back to that scoreline in a minute.
Anyway, point being, Bill Nicholson’s famous side could easily have won five league titles in a row. As it was, they had to settle for just one, in 1960-61. This is what used to pass for Spursy, back in the days when the sun shone on a more regular basis. Though to be fair to Bill Nick, his brilliant collective also swept up a couple of FA Cups and English football’s first-ever European trophy. We should all be so Spursy! All of which is worth comparing and contrasting to the record of the man often described as Tottenham’s best boss of modern times, Keith Burkinsh … OK, for the purposes of this particular story, Mauricio Pochettino.
Pochettino’s record of zero trophies suffers in comparison with Juande Ramos, never mind Burkinshaw or Bill Nick. A decline in standards, some may argue. But mere numbers are no way to judge the worth of a man (and if you want irrefutable proof of that, Nicholson has an inferior win percentage to Tactics Tim). Poch may have come up short in a Big Cup final, and a Milk Cup final, and an FA Cup semi, and finished third in a two-horse race behind Leicester. But he also turned Spurs into a side capable of striking fear into the likes of Real Madrid; instilled a fast-paced, easy-on-the-eye style in the grand Tottenham tradition; guided the club through awkward times while squatting at Wembley; made them a genuine neutral’s favourite; and hey, losing 7-2 to Bayern Munich rather than Burnley counts as a significant upgrade, right?
In a move which has seen sales of popcorn and footstools skyrocket all along the Holloway Road, Pochettino has been replaced by José Mourinho. The hackneyed one, it should be noted, has 25 more trophies than Po’ Poch on his managerial CV (ie 25). But again with the stats! Four of his last six jobs have culminated in great rancour, and he dropped everything to walk out of the other two. A shame, really, as most folk forget all the pots he’s won, remembering mainly all those sour interviews conducted with a face on. Still, let’s give the man a fair crack of the whip. If he does what he always does, he’ll end a 12-year Tottenham trophy drought in short order, bringing back the glory, glory days of Nicholson, Burkinshaw and, er, Ramos by the time he reaches the end of his contract in 2023. Or maybe that fancy new stadium will be reduced to a pile of smouldering rubble when he gets bored at the start of his third season. Either or. The Fiver’s money says it’ll be unlucky for Spurs when the year ends in one.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Yet again, and we have lost count now, Bale has disrespected Madrid and their fans. He mocked the institution with a flag that makes it clear that the last of his priorities is the club that pays him (and not a small amount) … This is the slow agony of a candle dying out, and all that is left is resentment. Real Madrid have taken too long to cut him loose” – Marca’s Rubén Jiménez reacts well to a flag.
RECOMMENDED VOTING
FIVER LETTERS
“The only upside I can see for Spurs is waiting for next Tuesday when Squires appears” – Philip Gibbs.
“Fiver, you have redeemed yourselves. I complained to you a few weeks ago because you neglected to print the Welsh squad. Well, you have more than made up for it by giving the link to Ivor Allchurch’s famous goal against Hungary (yesterday’s Fiver). I am old enough to have seen him play many times for Swansea Town at the Vetch field. You have made an old lady very happy, and I don’t expect you do that very often” – Susan Sleight.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our letter o’the day is … Susan Sleight, who bags a copy of I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You. We’ve got more prizes to give away, so get scribbling.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Ronald Koeman has spoken in support of Netherlands hat-trick hero Gini Wijnaldum’s “skin colour” goal celebration during the 5-0 win over Estonia. “He said he feels so happy with this Dutch team, where this problem [of racism] does not occur. It is one team and it’s nice to see,” said Koeman of Wijnaldum’s message with Frenkie de Jong.
Stevenage caretaker manager Mark Sampson has been charged by the FA with making an offensive remark about a player.
Of course, the big managerial news of the day is former Wolfsberger AC boss Gerhard Struber being parachuted in to manage Barnsley. “Gerhard is a young coaching talent that any side would be pleased to have,” trumpeted Tykes chief suit Dane Murphy in a boastful swipe at Spurs.
FA bods will procure USA! USA!! USA!!! high performance coach Dawn Scott for Phil Neville’s England backroom.
Wales are off to crashing out of Euro 2020 in the last 16 after being one of the best third-placed finishers in their groups.
Liverpool’s new £50m Kirkby training facility is developing apace.
El Diego has hobbled out the Gimnasia door marked Do One after just three months following the election of a new chief suit who doesn’t worship at the Church of Maradona.
And West Ham co-owner Gollivan had some fresh and funky things to say about Roy Keane’s punchy takedown of Declan Rice’s display in England’s win in Kosovo. “It was low, outrageous, unfair and arrogant to pick him out of all the players,” he roared.
STILL WANT MORE?
Here’s Barney Ronay and David Hytner on Po’ Poch’s brutal sacking, floating-football-brain-in-a-jar Jonathan Wilson on José Mourinho being a big old silver-haired gamble, Max Rushden on whether Tottenham are being run by Amazon’s film-makers and Jamie Jackson on what ratio of the good, bad and ugly José will bring to north London. Oh, and if that isn’t enough Spurs for you, Proper Journalism’s David Conn looks into the business of the managerial change while Paul Campbell invites you to get quizzical on the subject of José v Tottenham.
You want 10 talking points from the final round of Euro 2020 qualifiers? Here you go.
The Knowledge brings you video evidence of the select few who have walloped home a hat-trick of free-kicks.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
RECOMMENDED ATTENDING
Tickets are still available for the Football Weekly Christmas Special [on 27 November! – Fiver Grinch Ed], live in London. Get them here.
QUITE THE DAY FOR IT
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