She falls for people easily. Once she grows attached to someone, there is no turning back.
It has taken her months to get over certain people — and years to get over other people.
It doesn’t matter whether they dated longterm or never entered an official relationship. The label makes no difference. Once someone has earned a place in her heart, she finds it impossible to cut them out.
Sure, she can erase their old voicemails from her phone. She can block their texts. She can unfriend and unfollow them. But she can never erase their memories from her mind.
There are certain shows and movies and songs she has trouble enjoying now, because they remind her of someone she used to know. Someone she wishes was still around.
She hates how often she thinks about people who have already forgotten about her. She hates living in the past when everyone else has moved onto the present. She hates being the person who cares more every single time, but she can’t help herself.
She is sentimental. She has a soft heart. She knows she should throw out the gifts her exes and almosts gave her for her birthday and delete the pictures they took together over the summer, but that would kill her. It would be like accepting defeat.
In her mind, there is always a chance for reconciliation, so she doesn’t want to get rid of anything she might want back one day. Even though she knows it’s a bad idea, she will leave keepsakes on her shelves or at least hide them deep in her closet, so she can grab them if something changes.
Her friends keep telling her she deserves better, she is going to be fine, she shouldn’t waste her tears on some random boy. Unfortunately, that is hard for her to believe, because she romanticizes the past.
When she thinks of old flames, she rarely focuses on the fights they had and the mixed signals they bounced back and forth. Instead, she focuses on the good times. The moments when it seemed like their relationship was going to lead to something real. Something that could have lasted a lifetime.
In her mind, it doesn’t matter whether she spent three years dating an ex or three months texting an almost. Their connection is all that matters. If someone left an imprint on her heart, she is going to fuss over them. She is going to struggle to accept they are gone and they are not coming back.
She has a hard time getting over exes and almosts, because even though she falls for people easily, she doesn’t fall for people often. She has been hurt a million times before, which is why she closes her heart off to most people. She only opens her ribcage for the ones she deems worthy, the ones she trusts not to hurt her.
It takes a special kind of person to wiggle their way into her heart and once that happens it’s impossible to remove them.