Hello. Donald Trump? Not interested! Covid-19? Do one! For the next few hours we are all eligible for a spiritual vaccine that will briefly enable us to forget real life and lose ourselves in romance. It’s Marine v Spurs, Marine v Mourinho, or – if you’re into the whole football pyramid thing – 165th v fourth.
Marine are sixth in the Northern Premier League Division One North West, the eighth tier of English football, and the 161 places between the teams is an FA Cup record. Ergo, if Marine win today it will be the greatest shock in FA Cup history.
In truth – here comes the schmaltz, don’t bother trying to fight it – they’ve already won. Even in the festival of goodwill that is FA Cup third round, it’s hard to recall a similar level of nationwide support and enthusiasm for an underdog before the match has even started. Marine surely won’t win the actual football bit, and that’s fine. But just imagine if they do.
Kick off 5pm.