It always appeared that it would take an extraordinary offer from a potential suitor to drag Mesut Özil away from his £350,000-a-week job keeping fit at the north London health club known as Arsenal FC. And it seems DC United, who gave Wayne Rooney a late-career platform to do whatever it was he was still able to do, have made the German wake up and smell the coffee. The MLS side have reportedly offered the German what every creative footballer could ever want: a chance to expand their brand.
Yes, Özil has been told to overlook the fact that DC United are the second worst eastern conference team and instead focus on what really matters: breaking his 39 Steps Coffee company in the United States. The 32-year-old will apparently be allowed to flog his beans at the club’s Audi Field stadium, a grand if somewhat pointless gesture if fans can’t attend, and will also be given a platform to push his M10 eSports brand by making him the face of the club. The Mill feels this might not be enough, though. They should probably offer to buy Gunnersaurus too. If you’re going to make it big as a mascot – America’s the place to do it.
Norwich’s Emi Buendía is desperate to play in the Premier League again and would be Arsenal’s preferred choice to add a bit of pizazz to their midfield. The 24-year-old has been flapping his gums on Radio Residencias about how much he loves the English top flight’s “history” “perfect organisation” and all the usual cliches. “It is the best league in the world, it is the one that makes the difference at all levels,” he gushed. The problem is, Arsenal may not be able to afford him.
Manchester United and Manchester City would like to fight over more than the right to face Tottenham in the Carabao Cup final. How about the signature of the Bayern Munich winger Kingsley Coman then? It says here that both clubs have expressed an interest in the France international, who has a ridiculous record of having won nine league titles in consecutive seasons with PSG, Juventus and Bayern. He’s 24. “Knowing that good teams are interested in me is good, it gives me additional confidence,” he told Bild, as he happily bathed in silverware.
West Ham haven’t got the cash to match the wage demands of former striker and footballing mercenary Marko Arnautović so they will target Bournemouth’s Josh King instead. The 28-year-old former Manchester United target has barely got a kick at the Cherries this season and will be cheap as chips, which is why Wolves and West Brom are also sniffing around. If that deal is a non-starter then David Moyes will see if 35-year-old Graziano Pellè, who’s at Shandong Luneng, can still party like it’s 2015.
Brentford are going to bounce back from their Carabao Cup disappointment with a bit of retail therapy. The 26-year-old Preston North End midfielder Ben Pearson looks nice in the shop window at Deepdale and should be available at a bargain price given that his contract expires this summer. West Brom and Celtic are also sniffing around.
And James Beattie is the red-hot favourite to replace Joey Barton as Fleetwood Town manager.