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CR7 HITS THE BIG 4-0
Cristiano Ronaldo turns 40 today and celebrated in trademark style, posing for a picture in his time-machine cryo-trousers. Hurrah! Looks like a right laugh. Here are 40 slightly more memorable moments, good and bad (and in no particular order), since his rise to fame as a teenager at Sporting.
1. Ronaldo completely writes off his Ferrari after hurtling into a roadside barrier in a tunnel near Manchester airport (he walks away unscathed).
2. Ronaldo nearly takes the head off a cameraman with a wayward free-kick in Saudi Arabia.
3. Ronaldo agrees to pay a €19m fine to settle a tax fraud case.
4. Ronaldo poses next to his statue at the newly-named Aeroporto Cristiano Ronaldo in Madeira.
5. The Madeira sculptor has another go at making the statue, “with disastrous results”.
6. When Nike photoshopped a picture of Ronaldo as a boy (in which he was wearing an Adidas jumper).
7. A genuinely nice moment as Sir Alex Ferguson patiently waits to congratulate Ronaldo after Portugal’s Euro 2016 win.
8. The Shopee advert, obviously.
9. A nice little chat with Piers Morgan.
10. This “obscene” celebration (for which Ronaldo was fined €20,000).
12. Whatever this is.
13. A $1bn lawsuit for promoting Binance NFTs.
14. Casually signing for Juventus for €100m at the age of 33.
16. Storming through a mixed zone of journalists after a 2019 Big Cup first-leg defeat to Atlético Madrid, and remarking, “I won five Champions Leagues and these guys zero”.
17. Ronaldo would score a hat-trick in the second leg to overturn the tie and send Juventus to the quarter-finals.
18. This Peter Drury monologue as Ronaldo returns to Manchester United for a second spell.
19. Gary Neville coaches Ronaldo through his first interview in English.
20. When Ronaldo scored this outrageous bicycle kick at Juventus in the 2017-18 Bigger Cup, his strike coming 7ft 8in off the ground.
21. The look on David James’s face, here.
22. Ronaldo’s absurd header in the 2008 Big Cup final (and his penalty miss in the shootout).
23. This header, against Sampdoria for Juve, was better though.
24. Ah, wait. This header, against Roma for United, takes the biscuit.
25. The tragic death of his baby son.
26. This ridiculous strike against Porto in the 2008-09 Big Cup.
27. Same year, same competition (semi-final second leg at Arsenal), also 40+ yards from goal, same result. Oh, and scoring one of the great counterattacking goals later in the same game to put the Gunners to bed.
28. When Steven Taylor called Ronaldo “ugly” in a very 2000s tunnel bust-up.
29. When Real Madrid claimed in 2008 that they had ended their interest in Ronaldo for good.
after newsletter promotion
30. Ah.
31. This 2015 tour of his house in Madrid (which has got nothing on Luís Boa Morte showing up in a Corsa to show us round his gaff in one of the most electrifying MTV Cribs episodes ever broadcast).
32. La Decima. There could only be one man to seal Madrid’s win.
33. Ronaldo’s threads on his first day at Manchester United. Yikes!
34. This miss at Sheffield United in 2006.
35. His debut for Sporting in October 2002.
36. Moody Ronaldo + reporter = microphone in a lake.
37. “Maybe someone doesn’t like me because I’m too good?” Ronaldo responds to diving accusations.
38. This lunging tackle on Ronaldo by Phil Neville (that the Englishman later admitted was the reason he was accepted by Everton fans).
39. This tackle on Ronaldo by Wayne Rooney. Just a yellow.
40. Ronaldo v Rooney, part two. Sadly not just a yellow.
Happy birthday Ronnie, you brilliant, infuriating, cringy old git. Time to hang up the boots?
QUOTE OF THE DAY
There’s a balance. I think we all like to see celebrations. Some of the celebrations have been very funny, entertaining, but there’s a line. Once it crosses over into mockery or criticism, then we would need to deal with it – Tony Scholes, the Premier League’s chief football officer, tells Sky that players could face sanctions for goal celebrations that make fun of opponents in future.
How could anyone possibly confuse Carlos Jonas ‘Charly’ Alcaraz Durán with Carlos Alcaraz Garfia (yesterday’s Bits and Bobs)? Charly is seven centimetres shorter and undoubtedly has an inferior backhand” – Max Maxwell.
Despite its minute font size, the caption beneath your photo of the newly unveiled design for Wrexham’s proposed Kop stand (‘Looks pretty good, to be fair’ ) screamed ‘cognitive dissonance’ to me. It looks neither ‘pretty’ nor ‘good’ nor ‘fair’, even in a year when The Brutalist has been nominated for an Oscar. Perhaps I’ve just spent too little time at the Gedling Inn” – Clinton Macsherry.
It’s kind of Mike Wilner to offer Marcus Rashford’s services to Nottingham Forest, but we already have an attacker who Manchester United didn’t deem good enough and practically gave away. He’s not doing too badly” – Jim Hearson.
Further to the unexpected, or should that be inexplicable, generosity of ‘The Gedling Inn’ (yesterday’s Quote of the Day), might I suggest a congenial way to bring back drinking in stadiums? When the ref goes to the monitor, every supporter gets a free whiskey chaser. If a VAR decision is needed, pints all round. Personally, I’ll go with whatever the bods in the VAR burger van decide, when I am on my fifth lager” – Aram Raworth (hic!).
Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Clinton Macsherry. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, can be viewed here.
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